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Mind Body Plus Me!

~ Musings and Inspirations towards Holistic Health

Mind Body Plus Me!

Tag Archives: Healing

Kinder . . .

10 Monday Oct 2016

Posted by mindbodyplusme in Holistic Health

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Communication, Healing, Health, Inspiration, Life Experiences, Mental Health, Sharing, Thoughts, Words

Be kinder than is necessary

because, everyone you meet could be

fighting some kind of battle.

Your kindness could help them win their day.

There are always those worse off than ourselves, sometimes we can visually see their impairment, other times, and more oftenly so, we cannot see their inward struggles; that doesn’t mean they are any less painful, nor the damage hard to cope with.

Kindness can heal many mental wounds, and offer hope to someone who feels they have none. You never know, one day it may be you in need of some human kindness to help your day pass.

Druantia

Mental Health Day

10 Monday Oct 2016

Posted by mindbodyplusme in Holistic Health

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Breathing, Healing, Health, Mental Health, Psychology

Today is the national day when we address Mental Health issues. To limit this to one day I think is futile because as I’ve said many times, our mental health can change so quickly. One day we are fine and flowing well, the next we can experience something or our grip on the mental balance we have, slips and our mental health hits a low. It is a fluid state of who we are. For most people it remains within a health scale of balance, for other people the balance can be a bit more of a yoyo, and it does take some coping with.

Either way, our mental health is precious and needs to be treated with great love, care and understanding. Give it respect, space, acceptance and enough time of calm for it to process the data it constantly receives. It is a beautiful facet of who we are as individuals and varies as much as our physical bodies do. Be mindful, literally, of how your mental health state is, honesty is the best policy to adopt, because the mind is with you for every second and every breath of your body. We know much about the scientific workings of our brains and minds, but the vast majority of it and its abilities are out of reach of scientific assessment. That doesn’t make it not real, nor important, to me it means the opposite, it’s the hidden elements of what makes us, us. There are hidden abilities that intuition and instinct tap into, it’s fascinating don’t you think?!

If you have a bruise, a cut, a broken limb you automatically get sympathy and consideration because they are visible. So someone with a broken leg set in plaster is given special consideration for the duration of the plaster, and even after, the rehabilitation time is all given acceptance and understanding. Mental health is invisible to the naked eye, so someone’s mental state cannot be seen. If a person paints on a facade, a smile and jovial persona, why would you assume or even consider how they really are. People who suffer from fluctuating mental wellness, are often masters of disguise, often to their detriment. Mental health is better thought of today than in years gone by, but still it is not easy for some people to express they are struggling mentally. It is not expected to be the case, we are expected to be mentally strong all the time, irrespective of how we live our lives and bombard our consciousness with imagery, data etc. It is precious, it is delicate and it can be damaged and bruised, we just can’t outwardly see the injuries.

Take a moment to assess your own mental health, and then think about family, friends, people around you, and just spend a few minutes thinking what they’ve been through and see if you can see a veil of disguise as to how they are coping. Whether their persona has changed but until you stop and think, you haven’t really noticed. Most of us, at some stage struggle and a sympathetic ear of someone willing to spend a little time focused on you, can be the best and biggest remedy out there. That offering of help, listening, sharing can lift a ton weight off someones shoulders, and to endorse we all struggle at times means that it’s not a stage of failure. We cannot be strong all the time, but we can attain a safe zone of balance which encompasses ups and downs – levels we know we can cope with by using either time out, breathing techniques, counselling, chilling out, de-stressing, supplementation, and many other natural mediums. People perceive weakness in many forms, but our mental health does dictate our quality of life to a great degree, so it is as important to keep healthy as our physical wellness is.

All our mental states are real, so if the mental state is in a bad, negative way it is important to recognise it and find ways to help balance it into a more positive vibe to achieve optimum holistic health.

Druantia

 

Medical Tyranny in America?

05 Wednesday Oct 2016

Posted by mindbodyplusme in Holistic Health, Thoughts & Words

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Alternative Medicine, Freedom of Health and Healthcare, Healing, Informed Consent, USA Medical Tyranny

I get regular emails from America on natural health issues of the day, some being incredibly scary. The levels some states in America seem to have gone to in controlling what can be grown in gardens to not having any choice about your health care and availability of natural products. By that I mean, it would appear people cannot grow their own veg and food in their own gardens, and certainly not call it organic, and the concept of forced vacinations. Some of the things I read are truly unbelievable, and whilst here in the UK we tend to follow US trends, I hope no such madness ever crosses the water! The power the drug companies have over in America is frightening, and the latest scare, as I understand it, is needing public support or at least public awareness. I have included the information for you to use if you are interested to find out for yourselves.

The issue at the moment, which is time sensitive is relating to imposing of a medical tyranny which would mean health freedom and Informed Consent would be gone.  You would have no legal rights over your medical care. It is astounding to me that such a proposal has even got to be put down on paper, never mind being an imminent reality.

Have a read for yourselves, as happily to date it doesn’t apply to us over here, but for all you Americans who value natural health and health choices it would appear you are about to lose your rights to all of it.

http://TinyURL.com/InformedConsentProtection

http://drrimatruthreports.com/?p=30560

I hope, if what I read is correct, the new CDC’s Regs are trashed once and for all, but it would appear it needs your help. Good Luck

Druantia

Those Questions . . .

01 Saturday Oct 2016

Posted by mindbodyplusme in Ankylosing Spondylitis AS, Holistic Health

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Acceptance, Breathing, Healing, Health, Holistic Health, Inspiration, Mental Health, Psychology, Thoughts

Everybody at some stage in their life gets a persistent, an ever-swirling question that resonates in their minds, that just doesn’t go away. One of them I think we all have and probably do have is “what’s it all about, me, life?”

Most of us find a purpose in life and that can fluctuate as you live your life, some people don’t. Some people are fulfilled with the different roles they play, like being a parent, then possibly a grandparent, the roles continue but there is a common thread of being a parent. Some find their fulfilment with the job or career they have. Others have a defining moment when something they do, create, invent has a dramatic effect that literally can define someone’s life. There are numerous ways of evaluating your life and the purpose of it, because surely there must be a purpose for us existing as individuals . . .

What happens to the many people who do not have that purpose, that defining moment or cannot think of a reason they are here? I’ve spoken before about mental strength and the hidden depths to our conscious and subconscious minds yet to be understood. In my life I have come across a vast array of people’s take on their ‘purpose’ and it is amazing the diversity of what fulfils people’s expectations and needs. For some, it is a lifetime quest and their life leads to an awakening that suddenly makes all the pieces fit together to create a scenario that offers the answer. Other people find a niche that gives them all they dream of; it is truly an immeasurable calculus, so the question that resonates is as individual as we are and can change at different chapters of our lives.

Often people get physical problems caused by a psychological disturbance or state. When you start treating a physical condition, the mental/emotional imbalances show themselves. Sometimes you know from the start that the problem is not physical, and it is just the manifestation causing the person to find treatment. The body stores our emotions, stresses and worries in the tissue and joints of our body. Tense shoulders, tension headaches, some so called IBS when you’re anxious, sleepless nights with a whirling mind fuelled by worry etc. When you start releasing the muscles and joints, emotions often flow; and many many a time, patients release during or after a treatment whilst still in the room. In Yoga too, the different breaths, stretches all release inner often hidden emotions, that when released, reveal a deeper labyrinth of layers to the true state of the body and mind. To take something at face value, in my opinion, is often a naive stance to ever adopt when treating patients.

To treat holistically means you have to be aware of these hidden layers, and have the ability to deal with them when they are revealed. You are taking that patient into your care, and you cannot leave them exposed and vulnerable post treatment.  Sadly though, many of today’s ‘practitioners’ do just that.

When the body stops working as we perceive to be normal, questions flood the mind; ‘why’ ‘why me,’ ‘what have I done wrong’. Sometimes there are literally no answers to these questions, but some people cannot stop the questions rattling round their minds. Part of helping people is to listen, be patient, and show care and understanding without being judgemental.

That question, the one that comes back time after time, often when we are at a low state of mind, can be obsessively consuming. If a patient has a specific problem that, really to overcome it involves changes, be it dietary, physically, emotionally and those changes are not addressed, then on a return appointment, I am usually met with “I don’t know why its come back again.” Well, if something needs change to improve the status quo, and the change isn’t made, then the problem won’t go away. It has to be addressed at some stage; which stage is down to the individual and their own circumstances. Advice and guidance can help in the explanation of how the body and mind are assimilating the imbalance or problem, but no amount of counselling will resolve the scenario until the individual accepts and takes responsibility for whatever needs to be done for themselves. So many questions that resonate in our heads, and many I have heard over the years, can be resolved by change. There are still some questions though, that plague some people.

There are many a time when counselling during a treatment, I question the patient, why do they need to answer that question;  what purpose would it serve to the here and now; if the answer was given, how would it better their situation. Some people try to find answers to questions that have no answers, in the hope, and often convince themselves the answers are the only way, to make their lives better. These sorts of questions can be very destructive to body and mind.  This state of mind can be fragile, and therefore delicate. We are all different, and sometimes you can make it obvious that the search of some answers is futile, because the answer is only relevant to whoever is offering it; it wouldn’t answer to your own satisfaction, only create other questions. We can laugh at ourselves, trying to solve the questions of millennium, ‘what is this life all about’; there are no definitive answers, only the opinions of other people, and why should their opinion be any more correct that someone else’s that state the opposite, or indeed your own instinctive, intuitive opinion? No one knows!

The power of our minds is immeasurable, and as such no one can really tell or know the depths of another’s. So if something is playing on someone’s mind, causing distress, then it is real. It may seem insignificant to us, but to that individual it is something of importance and needs treating as such. Sometimes the questions breed uncontrollably in the mind, you no sooner ask yourself one question and half a dozen others rapidly follow it; spiralling that potentially becomes mentally all consuming. Fear, anxiety, loneliness, unhappiness, paranoia; there are dozens of mental states which start from the simple asking of a question that has no answer. Physical conditions can and do manifest from such mental distress. A question that cannot be satisfied no matter how you try or reword it, the fact is, there are simply no answers to some questions, they do not exist.

Questions like, ‘what’s my purpose for being here?’ being left unanswered can have dramatic consequences. One of low self-esteem, lack of confidence, depression, confusion, disassociation and often tragically can have suicidal consequences. When life cannot be justified because of a lack of answers to the questions, they often resolve themselves to the fact they are worthless, and they can resort to very distressing acts, self harming for example. So whilst we all experience the repetition of a question in our minds, if that repetition gets out of control it can destroy life, literally.

I don’t think anyone is exempt from questions that test us. As someone who was unable to have children, I have had my share of unanswerable questions, and what my purpose for being here is; questions about my body and the condition it has; questions about the twists and turns my life has taken, at times from circumstances not of my making nor of my choosing. I can find some answers, but if I am brutally honest, I have to shut down some questions that I know I cannot find an answer to, otherwise they would start burning a hole in me, become destructive to the life I have. There is sadness in not having the peace of mind answers would bring, but as I’ve mentioned in other posts, we have a vast array of emotions and feelings, and we have to have opposites to balance the scales of mental health. There is a narrow line and some days it is hard to stay on the right side of that line, when you feel tired, fed-up, resentful, a general lethargy in body and mind, when questions do raise their heads and often add to the negative vibe of the day. These days pass one way or another, and the sun shines again, but for some people the cloud doesn’t pass without help and support. They often are masters of disguise too. To the outside world they appear strong confident happy people, but behind closed doors, the mask comes off and they face their struggle alone.

For all the questions our minds may ask, take time to chat to your nearest and dearest; offer a sympathetic ear to help someone unload a burden they may have. You may not have the answers they seek, but by being able to verbalise the question out loud, sometimes lessens its grip. Often words said in passing can give a change of consciousness. A problem shared is a problem halved. You can also put out there your own questions, to see what other people’s thoughts are on the subject. It can be extremely liberating and fascinating to have other opinions and that feedback indirectly could answer your own questions anyway. Never be afraid to talk to someone if you feel a barrage of questions or merely a single one is swamping your mind. It is relevant and is important, we all deserve to have happiness of mind, a balanced equilibrium.

There is comfort to be had, realising that we all have questions we don’t have answers to. Knowing that doesn’t automatically make it easy to accept or deal with them, but it is part of life. However, at the end of the day, I believe, if we were meant to know all the answers, then we would; we just have to workout which are those unanswerable questions and which are not!

Druantia

 

 

 

Cycle of 3

16 Tuesday Aug 2016

Posted by mindbodyplusme in Holistic Health

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Acceptance, Body Rhythms, Healing

In holistic healing the body has cycles and rhythms. With an injury for example I always apply the cycle of the body healing in three; there days, three weeks, three months for example. When giving a remedial treatment (massage, manipulation, reflexology, cranial osteopathy) the true benefit of the treatment will be realised after three days. During the three day period, many patients feel worse than they did when they came to me in the first place, but by day three, a magical things happens and they are better.

In taking on a new condition to treat, again I usually explain that the body works in a cycle of three, so depending on the length and nature of the condition I am presented with, I would give a programme of three treatments, leaving three days between. But sometimes to be realistic, they need to be looking ahead to have the real benefit in three months having applied some treatments, practiced the stretches and exercises, and implemented any dietary changes that maybe applicable.

The body works on rhythms and cycles on every level. Certain hours of the day and night are indicative of different parts of your body doing their thing. I’ll write on this another time. But needless to say, the more in tune you are with your body and its cycles, the better potential you have to attaining holistic health. And just when you feel you’re there, there will be something else to learn, it’s a fabulous continual learning process.

Everyday we are literally a day older, the body is constantly changing and influenced by other forces, be it food, weather or the environment. And for women, well, there is a huge influence from our hormones which change daily if not weekly, but even more so as we get older. There’s no room for complacency but stacks of room to relax and enjoy our bodies and not fight the process. Be happy and accept our bodies as the living breathing entities they are, we are not designed to remain the same irrespective of age. There isn’t a living breathing thing on the earth that remains the same, we are no exception. All living things have a cycle, and again we are no different. Embrace the challenge to be the best you can be whatever your age, naturally. There’s huge scope of tweaking things for the good within the natural world, it’s a case of finding what works best for you!

Druantia

An Holistic Treatment

30 Saturday Jul 2016

Posted by mindbodyplusme in Holistic Health

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Alternative Medicine, Breathing, Healing, Health, Holistic Health, Holistic Knowledge, Life Experiences, Natural Therapies, Relaxation, Sharing

Holistic treatments in simple terms, means you treat the ‘whole’ person. You do not just look at the symptom presented to you and treat that alone. You take an overall appraisal of the patient. You need to take their full case history – details about the symptom in the patient’s words. You look at their general well being, take notes of any previous conditions, enquire about their lifestyle, their environment and job, and assess their constitution. Each of those points is multi layered, and depending on how Holistic you want to go, together with the expectations of the patient, depends on how indepth you go in the treatment plan, or indeed the treatment. There needs to be some form of diagnosis on the practitioners part.

Read the full article under the ‘Page’ Section

Druantia

 

Mental Strength

26 Tuesday Jul 2016

Posted by mindbodyplusme in Ankylosing Spondylitis AS, Holistic Health

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Alternative Medicine, Ankylosing Spondylitis AS, Breathing, Communication, Healing, Health, Holistic Health, Life Experiences, Natural Therapies, Relaxation, Sharing

One aspect applicable to having AS and other pain related conditions that I’ve treated over the years, which is often over looked, or totally ignored, is the mental state of the individual. It can vary enormously, having constant pain, whether an ache or severe is mentally exhausting. Having a sudden sharp flare up can be a shock mentally, as well as being exhausting too. It can make people depressed without them realizing it and can truly bring a person down emotionally and mentally; like living with a cloud over them, or a weight on their shoulders, carrying it everyday, it can make life that bit harder than it should be.

We all cope with pain differently and whilst some people are very resilient, others aren’t, there is no right or wrong way to be, it just means pain is very relevant to the individual. It’s a very important factor of the overall condition, some people are very keen to tell you how they are suffering, some are terrified when their body experiences pain, whilst others soldier on and try their hardest to hide their pain and remain strong in the eye of the beholder, no matter at what cost to themselves. They find it harder to admit to anyone especially a Practitioner, just how much their pain hurts, or how they are struggling to keep going, as if it would be an admission of failure or weakness. I’ve used this expression a lot, because it’s true, but we all need balance. To be able to share our problems with the right sympathetic ear can greatly help through a crisis.

That in itself isn’t easy for a great many people, myself being one! But as a Practitioner I look at the patient and myself in a holistic way, I take the whole person into account when treating any problem they present. I purposely assess the mental approach everyone takes towards their life, and many a time I have been blown away with the strength and grace people have dealt with problems in their lives. It is often the case too, that people who do not have the ability to share, either because they can’t or don’t want to, find it very hard to relax in any way. With pain, the ability to breathe and relax, in my humble opinion is a fantastic advantage to have. I am not advocating ‘button-holing’ anyone who will listen and go on and on about all your ailments. But at the same time to not be able to share, release, and express your concerns, keep emotions bottled up, can lead to deeper-seated problems when dealing with pain. It prevents the body and energy flowing, which can exasperate pain levels, and weaken the mental emotional side of you.

If some of this resonates with you or someone you know, see if you can find a way to help. Be it expressing your own mental thoughts to a confidante, friend or Professional, or encouraging someone you know to talk and share their thoughts. It could give the sufferer a release they may have been in great need for but didn’t know how to achieve, often feeling they would be a burden, and you would possibly think less of them for ‘moaning‘. It isn’t easy to admit you are struggling.

If talking and sharing isn’t the right process for you, then there is a wealth of other avenues that could help, Counselling, Meditation, Yoga Therapy, even relaxing treatments like aromatherapy, reflexology, cranial massage, facials, there are many disciplines that aid in releasing pent up emotional tension, and therefore helping you have more balance; yin and yang, positive and negative, you know what I mean! Even just taking time out of your every day to allow yourself your special slot to relax and unwind could work wonders. You may find having an afternoon snooze works, or a gentle walk outside, listening to some music you love, laugh with a friend, there are so many things, but at the end of the day, whatever makes you feel good, do it!

Being anonymous is another way to release too. The Internet is a tool that could facilitate that in the form of forums, blogs (this being one!) where you can write your thoughts down. People of like mind can reply with the empathy of knowing what you’re going through. It can be a powerful form of support. Obviously be careful and don’t divulge personal information you wouldn’t want people to know. But to connect with people who have the experience of the same condition can alleviate the isolation that often comes with conditions governed by pain.

Many pain suffering people tend to shut themselves away from the world when the pain strikes, so to be armed with techniques to ease the length of those days, the better. Branch out and see what you can discover, enrich your life in doing so – bonus!

Druantia

 

Ankylosing Spondylitis and Me

25 Monday Jul 2016

Posted by mindbodyplusme in Ankylosing Spondylitis AS, Holistic Health

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Alternative Medicine, Ankylosing Spondylitis AS, Healing, Health, Holistic Health, Holistic Knowledge, Natural Therapies

One particular reason I wanted to start this Blog was to offer some help, hope, support and share first hand experience of having the genetic condition known as Ankylosing Spondylitis, AS for short. Simply, it’s a condition where additional bone growth connects the vertebrae of the spine, locking it together; it used to be also known as Bamboo Spine as it resembled a bamboo on X-ray. It generally starts in the lumbar spine (lower back), and spreads upwards, sometimes taking the whole spine including the neck. There are secondary conditions associated with AS like, Iritis (painful inflammation of the eye which needs urgent attention when it occurs). In the advanced stages, usually the spine is pulled over into a very bent state. Breathing is restricted, and there are often eating and jaw implications too. AS is a condition like many other conditions, that affects people differently. It is more common in the older population than the young, affecting more men than women, and for many of the years I was suffering, like many others, it was never diagnosed. Although it is a genetic disease, to suffer it in early life usually means there was a trigger that activated the condition. In my case I believe it was a case of Glandular Fever, which hit me quite hard when I was 18. My glands didn’t all recover at the same rate so left me with glandular imbalances. That kick started the AS prematurely, my glandular imbalance making my body think it was older than it was, otherwise like millions of others, my body may have grown old with the AS only manifesting itself in my later life.

But as it was it was a condition that plagued my twenties and thirties with a range from daily pain to severe ‘unable to move’ times. From my early thirties I have had a rigid spine from the base to the mid thoracic (between the shoulder) area. I initially I suffered on and off back pain from the age of 19 years old, having regular remedial treatments, which did help but never got rid of the problem for more than a few days. There have been some terribly painful, difficult times. For years I couldn’t sneeze, yawn, or cough because of my ribcage ‘fusion’ which meant I couldn’t take a sudden intake of breath. I walked by putting my tiptoes down first before lowering the heel, to help cushion any deviation in the level of the ground that could jar my back. The Sacroiliac Joints located at the base of the spine allowing the pelvis to pivot with the spine as you walk and move; in my body those joints fused, I do not have that pivot action of my pelvis. I had times where I would spasm, the pain so great I would literally get stuck, either in a chair, at the top of the stairs, in bed; in the kitchen once, and in that circumstance I was stuck where I stood for 8 hours unable to move from where my then husband left me that morning until he returned; I was so exhausted and cold; it was not a good time. If out and about, I would have to look at the ground, checking for unevenness, but also avoid people who may accidentally bump into me, or cause me to suddenly move out of their way in busy areas, these were all risk-assessed daily activities that potential were agony for me.

I had been very sporty in my teens and early twenties, but the pain in the back and hips made me have to give it all up. My whole life was being governed by my pain level and mobility of the day. I had lived free to do what I wanted, body fully capable and able, but that had all stopped by the age of 24. I felt I was being pushed into a box and someone was trying to put the lid on it, on me. I was losing a battle with a foe that had no identity, nor form for me to defend myself against, I couldn’t find answers; there was no rhyme or reason to the attacks. It was as challenging mentally as it was physically, pain that totally engulf you when it struck. It was a very mentally challenging time for me, because I couldn’t see a way forward, doing what I’d loved doing, I could only see a way ahead of not being able to do things, a very negative cloud loomed above me, I didn’t know what life had in store for me, and no one could tell me what was wrong with my body. But my natural optimistic persona kept that cloud above me, rather than letting it engulf me, it was a balancing act.

I had miscarriages throughout my twenties; one of which was an ectopic rupture, I was very ill from that episode. I regularly had very painful spasm in the lower back and hips whenever it was my monthly period. And when I did have cause to call the Doctor, they used to tell me, it was just a bad period; even though I often had to use crutches to be able to get around. It was a hugely challenging chapter of my life, because I always wanted to have a family. I could conceive but the inflammation in my body, and the internal pressure, even the natural swelling a woman’s body incurs during a period, would be enough to inflame me so much, it would be extremely painful, and in many cases enough to end my pregnancies. I always looked incredibly healthy though, so when doctors saw me, they never saw me as a person with a severe problem, they never offered me any tests, scans – nothing, I felt very isolated and very much on my own. The fact I was not going to be a mum was crushing. But, the thought I could pass this gene on to my child and give them a life of pain, was a bit of an antidote to my sadness, because I wouldn’t wish the pain I’d had on anyone, never mind my own child. So I did have to convince myself, against every cell in my body, not being a biological mum was actually for the best, the gene would stop with me. I resigned myself to the fact that as this was my body and it was down to me to cope with the peculiarities best way I could find.

In my mid thirties whilst working in the Midlands I had a major flare up, I sought help from an Osteopath who again eased the severe pain, but he realised there was something else going on. He referred me to a friend of his, a Chiropractor who had X-ray facilities, and I promptly had my first X-ray. The Chiropractic Practice had 5 practitioners, who were all asked to leave their patients for 5 minutes to consult on my X-ray. I was then summoned into the room and with their serious faces staring at me, looking at my every pained movement, was shown the X-ray for myself. It was an unanimous opinion that I should be in a wheelchair, and they would expect a person with the spine in the X-ray to be paralysed, I was a source of awe and astonishment, I was in shock.

I was rushed to hospital from their premises and given an MRI, CAT scan, blood tests, breathing tests; was assessed for my needs, observed at how I moved, how I got out of a chair, laid on a bed, everything. All of these activities I had to achieve slightly differently to the norm. It was a bit of a whirlwind to be honest, and quite scary. I had been treating people with Holistic Therapies especially Remedial Massage, and Body Therapies for 15 years, so I had a good understanding of how the body worked, and had used the knowledge from such therapies and Kundalini Yoga on myself to that date. Diet and supplements played an essential role too.

At the hospital I was asked if I’d attend a weekly AS Support Group. Specialists I saw were at a loss as to what to advise and couldn’t understand how I was still mobile never mind living a life like I was. I was a little like a guinea pig, shown off to give hope to newly diagnosed patients, and inspiration to fellow suffers. On good days, I could still touch my toes, which strengthened their message of how important exercise is with AS, and I could still breathe well. The reasons I could were because, with my back being rigid and being born with a straight spine, I flex from the hips, having long hamstrings. And because I breathe from my abdomen, I still have a good quality breath. My ribcage didn’t flex, I had the shallowest of breath if I tried to breathe from the chest, and it wouldn’t have been a realistic way to breathe to sustain life. I was also told one of the scans revealed there was some fibrosis in the upper lung due to the stagnation in the lung tissue. I remember one man in the group, who was in his 70s and was permanently attached to an oxygen tube because his AS was advanced like mine, his ribcage had fused and he was constantly breathless; he was also quite bent over creating more chest restriction. I talked with him at length and very soon he managed to breathe a bit from his tummy, releasing a different man. He laughed and smiled and whilst still in a terrible state, he felt he was recovering some ground with his demise instead of only losing more and more.

Breathing techniques are something so simple, we obviously all have to breathe, but literally breathing techniques can be life changing. Had I not abdominally breathed, I too would probably have been attached to the oxygen in a wheelchair. I was given a reality check too by attending this class. I saw people who were like me when I was in my early twenties, but they still had full flexibility in their spines. And the other end of the spectrum when the body had totally been taken by AS presenting the end result, that was the stage I will probably progress to next, and it was a very humbling stage of acceptance. Most AS sufferers in the latter stages become very bent over, as the AS pulls the normal curvature of the spine over. With my poker straight spine, the fusing has kept me upright so far, something I am very grateful for.

Thankfully I have an amazingly strong Faith that gives me an inner strength that just takes over. It is a Faith I have always had, it isn’t a religion, or a learnt belief, it has always been a force within me. Quite early on whilst being racked with pain, I gave my ‘inner force’ the reins when I was at a loss as to what else I could do. I couldn’t cope with the pain my body was in on my own, I needed to let go of the willpower I was using to hang on. It was like a literal conversation I had with myself, I handed myself over to ‘it’ to help me get through. I remember saying ‘it’s over to you, I can’t do this’, and I physically let myself go into an abyss, I had no idea what would happen next. I stopped physically fighting the pain and let my body go. It was the first time I truly felt the separation between the ‘spiritual self’ as I call it, and the physical body. It was a case of me looking at my body as a separate entity. In those days I still didn’t know what was wrong with me, so I was fighting blind so to speak, but this Faith kept me living my life as fully as I could up to the point of diagnosis in my mid thirties. That diagnosis gave me such confusion, elation, fear and loss. Finally I had a reason for my struggle, for the pain. My mind, which had always been strong, could now reassess how best to deal with a body that was uniquely challenged by a named disease. Like being told for the first time what brand of vehicle my body was and I now had to start to understand how it functioned and how to maintain it without a manual.

I was advised to use a wheelchair, because I would need it before long anyway, and told if I moved suddenly or bent over say to put my shoe on I could be paralysed in that second. I was given a very bleak prognosis. Naturally I had no idea what the future would hold, I was only being given very negative, very distressing news, which naturally was hard to hear.

I carried on with my life as I had always done, but with full respect of my condition. It wasn’t going to be an easy ride, and many, many times it was proved that I didn’t have a huge say in how my body was going to be. It was very humbling; it was also quite surreal, never knowing from one day to the next whether I could function relatively normally when I woke up, or whether I’d be in agony; whether the day would pass without incident or not. But life did indeed go on, and the years did go by.

There were so many instances, that looking back now I really do not know how I kept going. I think at times, it was harder for my family and friends who had to see me in agony and constantly struggling with regular things, and them being helpless to do anything about it. But regardless, my Faith and or inner strength made me face each day with vigour and determination. I’d heard people who had suffered near death experiences talk of similar attitudes to their daily lives. I always looked so well and healthy, I was a true conundrum, and happy to say still am.

I kept my life as healthy as I could, never deviating from the natural ways of healing that was my passion, my life; a vegetarian diet suited my body and me very well, being less acidic so lessening the inflammation in my body. AS is classed as an Auto Immune Disease, so the more I could do on a daily basis to improve my health the better. I am blessed to have good health, and it is something I do not consciously disregard. I did have some painkillers prescribed by my consultant, for the worse case scenarios, when the pain was just too much to keep moving, or even breathe. These pills would knock me out for 8 hours straight, and most times I woke up with a body that I could move, but granted it would be very fragile, I could carry on. A couple of times my abdomen went into spasm, very suddenly and severely, It was a fight to breathe. The paramedics were called, they were there for peace of mind really, as I had to draw on inner control to soften the muscles and get a breath for myself. Those around me at the time were terrified It happened in a flash as I was simply putting the dinner on the table, I froze mid movement, as the spasm gripped my abdomen, and as that was where I took my breath from, very soon my face and hands all stiffened and contorted, it was quite scary. But again I had to draw on that ‘other’ part of me to talk myself through the attack, keep calm, with no idea whatsoever how it was going to play out.

I took daily organic phytonutrient rich supplements that ensured my body was being given the best possible nutrition over and above what I ate and drank. It doesn’t make any sense to me to abuse yourself and then suffer because of it. We all have challenges in our lives, but some can be made better if responsibility is taken, and changes are made to improve how we look after our body and minds. And on the spin side, conditions can and are made so much worse by poor body management. The quality of life can be a case of what we give ourselves to live on, and how we breathe dictating our health.

I sought the advice of a fantastic friend and colleague who is a multi disciplined Natural Therapy Practitioner; he has been in practice for many, many years, what he doesn’t know, isn’t worth knowing, he is amazing. He used to give me acupuncture and he researched my AS diagnosis and how it affected my body. He gave me the homeopathic remedy Hecla Lava. It had been trialled in other countries on AS patients with some very good results, so he was optimistic it would help. It needs to be prescribed professionally to make sure it’s the most appropriate remedy for you, but thankfully for me, it was a miraculous remedy. Within a week I was feeling so much better. I kept taking the remedy for years, and it facilitated me having some of the best years of my life. I was fully active in every part of my life. I could move my ribcage again and there was ‘softness’ in the spine, it still didn’t bend but it no longer felt like a metal rod. I could breathe from my chest; I could sneeze and still love sneezing to this day having had years of not being able to. I can cough, yawn, could even do a short jog if needs must. Sure I have stiffness when I do something particularly physical, but so would anyone else.

I would see Consultants regularly and they always took a second look as I walk through the door, as their perception of the person my file portrayed to them, in no way should be as mobile as I am. I have been given no advice, no guidance, nor hope whatsoever, just painkillers and the impending wheelchair and operations to look forward to. No one has been able to explain how I still have the mobility I have, how I don’t live on painkillers, how I can still lean over and touch my toes, bending from the hips not the back you understand. They have shown no interest in asking what it is I am doing, which I was hopeful could be passed on to offer advice and hope to fellow sufferers who go to them, desperate for guidance and hope. It has frustrated me, and I have purposely mentioned the homeopathic Hecla Lava that I take, which has changed my life in itself. I wanted to be able to help in offering hope to AS sufferers. My quality of life is better than most peoples, I just have a rigid spine and have to move differently to accommodate that, be respectful of my body’s abilities but still live an active life.

I have had creeping on 16 years of wellbeing – in relation to my back, now, relatively pain free years I never dreamt I would be able to have. I have wondered many times, how I would be today if I had been given that Hecla Lava remedy in the very early days, before all the fusing had taken place. Some of the results in the trials had reversed the condition completely in fellow sufferers; by the time I started taking it, ¾ of my spine was already fused, I was at the wrong end of the scale to get the best possible result, but still, it helped beyond my wildest dreams.

I have always continued teaching Yoga classes, which give me a time to reflect and reinstate to myself the importance of correct breathing, taking time to quieten the mind and listen to yourself, coupled with disciplined exercise. It gave me the chance to prove to myself I still had a lot to give and could still help others. I had to improvise, be eloquent, inspire enthusiasm on the occasions I couldn’t do the exercise, I had to preach with a “do as I say, not do as I do!” kind of attitude, another learning curve. Yoga isn’t a case of having to have the most flexible spine you can imagine, as I can vouch, think of a plank of wood and you’ve got what mine’s like! It’s the whole discipline of mind, body and soul, finding that balance of harmony within that strengthens you in every part of your life, balance.

I learnt over the years to manage my pain and abilities very well. Many people who met me or came to me as a patient never realised I had my own spinal problems; they didn’t realise I had no flex whatsoever in my back, even to this day. As I treated patients with back problems, I was able to share empathy and understanding of the pain, the restrictions, the fear and desperation that can come with having a bad back. I had first hand experience of which areas of the back can and do affect another part, or another part of your body and your life. In many ways it gave me a fantastic sixth sense that cannot be taught or learnt. I also realised that a healthy attitude, managing the fear does make a difference to people’s tolerances of pain and restrictive bodily functions. I was able to inflict an enormous amount of physical power into the remedial treatments, far more than my slight framework should have been able to.

I am fascinated by our minds, they are so powerful and under used; they are so unique and can totally transform your life. Learning how to calm and clear the mind, to unwind and relax mentally is a very important part to well being; discovering who we are, and what we are capable of. To be able to listen to your intuition, and have the courage to follow your own thoughts is an amazingly empowering ability. A lot of physical problems and illnesses are exasperated and sometimes are even manifestations of mental imbalances, be they emotional irrationality or a fear from a known or unknown source. Our minds can be so complex but at the same time, so wonderfully simple. Learning how to breathe properly can quieten the mind, thus enable relaxing of the body. It gives us time to mentally process data that is constantly bombarding our bodies and minds, and when we are faced with a problem that isn’t going to go away, like AS. Having a mental ability to deal with reality can mean the difference of coping and not coping. It helps through the transition of change that inevitably will be needed.

Over the last couple of years I have noticed changes in my spine. Of course I am older, 50+, and in some ways I’m of the age when people first find out they have the condition of AS. My body is changing too due to hormonal changes which even without something like AS, affects the bones, but because of AS I am already at a higher risk of getting Osteoporosis over and above the norm. When I was diagnosed it was hard to find anyone of similar age that was as far on in the disease as I was. I was told my spine was like an 80 year olds instead of a thirty something year old it was. Today there is the Internet where it is much easier to find fellow sufferers who can share their situations with you, who can offer help, support and advice. There is so much advice out there; there are forums, you name it, and you can find it. I hope I will be one such ‘port of call’ should you think I can offer assistance in any way in helping you or a relative, friend, partner who has the AS diagnosis. When it all seems very daunting and insurmountable, don’t give up, there will always be an avenue yet to be explored, and there are always alternative ways of looking at the situation. The more information you have, the better armed you are for the journey ahead. Although the Internet is good for gathering information, you do need to seek professional advice and not take the Internet’s word as the only word, there are pro’s and con’s of such information, just be aware. And needless to say, some AS sufferers never experience the great degree of pain I endured, and some keep a good level of flexibility and mobility, not everyone suffers the full spinal fusing.

With my neck being the latest chapter of living with AS, it had stiffened a lot, and I’d started with referred pains and tingling into my hands. I had another MRI scan which showed my neck had already fused, apart from one joint. I was amazed because there hadn’t been the pain. I thought that was going to be the next chapter, but having been saved the pain, I was a lot further on the road to total fusion that I realised. After being referred to a Neuro-surgeon because of the seriousness of the MRI scan, I was informed that the additional bone growth that fractures off in the neck being much finer, had created bulging, and that is now pressing close to the Spinal Cord. It would only progress and lack of control in my feet would be an indication that the Spinal Cord is being restricted. Surgery will be required at this stage. The one remaining mobile joint is taking the brunt of all my neck movement, and the disc is bulging, impinging on the nerve rootlets, hence the arm referral. It wasn’t a rosy consultation, and the stiffness in my neck was affecting everything I did. My arms were tired and felt weak, so even less of the things I was still able to do, where now on the endangered list. My life plan was again under review, every aspect was running through my mind, and I was spending time thinking through the fuller implications that lie ahead. Advised against massage to save the remaining joint of ‘freer’ movement, the headaches were quite severe, and pains in the eyes, a general pressure and tension in my head were daily occurrences that tire you out.

My norm now, was that my head swivelled on the top of my neck so to speak, looking up was very restricted and down less so. I could still turn my head side to side, but any physical work I did, came at a greater cost and took longer in recovery time. Recently I had a trip to York Minster with my mum and nephew from Canada, and within a short period of time of being there, my neck let me know it was not at all happy with the looking head high and above. Half way round I could only look ahead and down felt good. By nightfall my neck was exceptionally stiff and painful, with more limited mobility. By the next day, my head had seized – no pain, but it just wouldn’t move from the looking forward position. It just would not move, full stop. After a few days, unable to drive and do very much, not even drink without a straw I had to try something. Whilst laid down I manually pushed my head, millimetre by millimetre as I tried to relax my neck muscles, until I had my head turned to the side. After an hour I could turn my head side to side as if in slow motion, so I had hope there was a chance of recovery, rather than the operation is nigh. After a couple of weeks, I was still struggling, and it was tough going, knowing it would hurt if I did anything and stiffen back up again, I wasn’t making any headway – excuse the pun, whatsoever.

Lethargy is not a trait I really adhere to, but I could feel myself resigning to this is how it’s going to be, and it didn’t bode well with me mentally. One Friday night I demonstrated to my partner, just how little movement I had, and I was going to have to rethink my life. He was naturally concerned, I am never usually defeatist, but he could see how little movement I had. Saturday morning, after feeling inspired having watched some Qi Qong, and my best friend asking ‘what are we going to do?’ I got up early, put some mediation music on the earphones, stood outside in the sunshine and started to connect with myself again. A practice I had stopped doing some years ago. I was back on the full dose of Hecla Lava, but I knew I had more inside that I needed to connect with to help me through this stage.

Feeling the sun on my face and body, letting the music fill my head and mind, I started to breathe and connect with my core. Eyes closed I let my body dictate the moves. Slow and gentle, building into powering energy into muscles then releasing it out, balancing all the muscles that pulled tight from my thoracics, into my shoulders and arms, up into the neck. After an hour, my neck was free enough to turn my chin to the shoulders; I could look down and look up at the sky. I felt I had worked and stretched out all the layers of muscles that had tightened over the years, to give me the mobility I hadn’t had in many years. My neck is still fused, but the muscles are no longer tight and pulling nor hurting. I ran upstairs and showed off my new mobility like a child on Christmas morning. The power I felt inside myself, the feeling of reconnecting to an energy source deep inside me, still brings tears to my eyes three weeks on. Each morning I do an hour of predominantly upper body stretching and the difference is nothing short of remarkable. Already my body feels like its changed shape, I feel slimmer, longer, my neck is definitely slimmer, I feel strength back in my shoulders and upper back. I feel so much better for the daily stretch out, and each morning I have repeated the routine, never consciously forcing the stretches, they seem to flow one into another of their own accord. If someone were to observe me, I guess they would think I was doing a form of Tai Chi. Half an hour each morning now is enough to keep the suppleness in the muscles, it has transformed my daily life once more.

Inspired and delighted, for however long this new state of being lasts, I can only chastise myself for letting so much time lapse without this disciplined practice, and secondly, be so proud of myself for having the courage to dig deep and unleash that power within; to reconnect, I feel like I’ve found a part of me I had lost. Thank goodness my lovely nephew came to visit, I’ll be eternally grateful!

I am, thankfully, still on my journey. I remain grateful for the years I’ve had out of pain, and realise in some people’s opinion, it was time I theoretically shouldn’t have had, I know that for myself. But at the same time there hasn’t been a day go by when the effects of AS haven’t been felt in one way or another, a hundred fold latterly with my neck. So as my journey continues forever changing, I have no option but to accept it and deal with it best way I can. AS isn’t going to go away by me being in denial of the facts, I am still theoretically on borrowed time, but at least I have been honest to myself and my own abilities; drawing on intuition and the strengths I hold most dear, up until I need intervention from another source. Having that mind set is a great comfort, but it does get tested, and there will be times when I feel down and overwhelmed by it; I hope as in the past I get the strength to pull myself up again. But I am only human and there are no guarantees, you can only do your best, that’s all I can ask of yourself.

I labour the point we are all unique and that we all need to deal with our challenges in life individually. If my life’s experience can help anyone come to terms with a similar scenario, then I am fulfilling an inborn desire to help others. The more avenues you have open to you, gives a freedom of choice. I am lucky for many reasons, but particularly because of my knowledge of the body and how it works. I understand the importance of diet, lifestyle, exercise and mental attitude. I am predisposed to a natural holistic slant to life, and was able to turn that inward to help myself. There is no guidebook as such, nothing is chiselled in stone, we need to find what works for us, and have the freedom, choice and support to follow it.

I’ve counselled patients over the years, when they start reaching their golden years, or when they have a condition that is life changing, and to admit they can no longer do certain things, no matter how much they loved doing them, is not giving up or admitting to failure. It’s the start of a new chapter of your life. It’s respecting the body you have, and accepting what it can and can’t do. The acknowledgment of your body’s abilities in the here and now, not living today wishing for yesterday and it’s abilities, and not to dread the tomorrows. I’ve talked to myself on this topic, because at my age you would expect me to be still very active and ‘normal’, yet I have to acknowledge and stop doing some things I love to do. Be it some aspects of gardening, some hobbies and exercise to mention just a couple of things. It’s the here and now that matters, it’s the only real time we have; yesterday’s been and gone, tomorrow is a day that never arrives, it’s only ‘today’ that is real. If you can do what you want to, then that’s great, if you can’t, don’t beat yourself up, it is as it is, it isn’t the end of the world. You’re body ages day by day, and what comes with that is changing abilities. It’s the same philosophy with certain conditions, not necessarily due to your age but the nature of the condition. There will be days when you can achieve more than others; it’s just the way it goes. But aging is natural, changing abilities is natural, both are inevitabilities of growing older, and we cannot stop growing older – well, not yet!

Please feel free to get in touch if you think I may be able to help in any way.

Druantia

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